goals Archives - Julianne Harvey

In Culture, Identity, Nurture, Personal Growth, Relationships, University, Writing

Process, Not Product

Julianne HarveyJanuary 27, 2022January 3, 2022

One of my grad school professors taught me this phrase last semester: Process, Not Product. Usually I pick three words to focus on for each new year, but for 2022 I’ve decided to use this three-word phrase instead.

We used it in a writing class, but it works well as a general concept. Our North American society is so fixated on the end product. Along the way, the joy of the process required in order to achieve that product can become lost. I’m hoping to recover that joy this year.

The way my prof described it, the process is the part we have the most control over. Particularly when writing, but for many areas of life the process itself is what really matters. Setting up a creative practice that holds meaning for me is under my direct control. Thinking about the process in a new way, instead of fixating on the eventual outcome of that process, is likely to make me happier.

In 2022, this third year of our never-ending pandemic reality, I’m looking to a healthier daily work process instead of peering so far down the line to glimpse the finished product. This same professor encouraged his students to be fierce about our own work, to believe in ourselves and our unique voices, and to stop looking for so much validation outside of ourselves.

These are worthy pursuits for a new year. To channel our depleted energies into more of what we can control, and choose to let go of the areas where we have limited say. To inch toward kindness, in as many settings and relationships as possible, and to eschew cynicism in all of its nasty forms. To believe in goodness again, and to slowly cultivate the flame of hope to combat our despair.

Process, not product. I like the simplicity of this phrase. I wrote it on an index card above my desk, where I hope to remind myself of this focus every day of the year. I’m hoping it will help with the fear I feel about completing my thesis project this summer. Forecasting failure or success before I’ve even started the work is a losing game. Instead, I’ll put that energy into crafting a daily writing process that sustains me, and brings me joy, for that will be the thing that carries me through.

What process, not product can you concentrate on this year?

In Identity, Personal Growth, University, Writing

Accomplishments

Julianne HarveyApril 5, 2019April 5, 2019

It can be tempting to downplay our accomplishments, particularly for women. No one wants to be a blowhard, as we’ve all met our share of those insufferable types who crow on about every little thing. The older I get, the more I appreciate quiet humility and privacy.

Having said all that, these last few weeks have brought several awards in my academic journey, and I’m reminded of how satisfying it feels to achieve a desired goal. Years ago I would’ve brushed aside my own achievements, believing that no one else would be interested in them (although I suspect the issue was mostly a lack of confidence in myself).

Over time, I’ve come to understand that part of self-care is owning my own accomplishments. Not to brag about them or hold them over anyone else, but simply to celebrate the sheer joy of hard work being recognized and honoured by someone else. When you are a writer, and the bulk of what you face is rejection, the successful moments are like stars in a cloudy sky.

For the last six months, I’ve been assembling a large portfolio for Prior Learning Assessment Recognition (PLAR). My Arts advisor identified me as a potential candidate to earn university credits for my career up to this point. PLAR involved a mountain of work, writing about learning in a variety of core competency areas plus amassing nine folders full of evidence to support that learning.

The process concluded with an hour-long phone interview with PLAR assessors right before we went on a ten-day vacation to San Jose del Cabo in Mexico for spring break. I haven’t been on a formal job interview since 1999, but I could measure how far my confidence has come in this phone call. It’s a beautiful experience to live as your authentic self all the time. I feel so certain in myself and my answers now compared to when I was younger, not because I have everything figured out but because I’m not hampered by so many disguises. I know now that vulnerability is a strength and not a weakness. To be real is my biggest goal, and it makes life so much better.

I asked for 48 credits in total toward my BA in Creative Writing and the PLAR committee awarded me 45. This significantly reduces the years I will be in university in order to complete my degree. I began in the fall of 2017, going part-time, and with this award it’s conceivable I’ll be able to graduate in the next two to three years. I find this mind-blowing, as I assumed I’d be attending for a decade.

Then this week I heard I was shortlisted as a finalist for a Creative Writing Scholarship at KPU. I applied for writing scholarships last year and didn’t place at all. This year, I applied again for three different awards and I knew my writing was stronger but I’ve also met many other writers in my program so I knew there would be stiff competition.

At the awards ceremony this week, I was astonished to hear my name read as the winner for the Creative Writing Scholarship (and later on as a finalist for an award designated for students over the age of 30). The scholarship is $1,000 in tuition but even more than that it’s a large step forward for the quality of the work I’m able to produce at this stage of my life and career. Going back to school has helped my confidence and my craft in more ways than I can even count.

And THAT is worth celebrating.

In Identity, Nurture, Parenting, Personal Growth, Speaking

Enough

Julianne HarveyNovember 28, 2018

In 2018, I was determined to live into the idea of being enough. To slow down, to settle in, to rest in the notion that more of anything was not the answer to this particular question. What I needed was to look around and appreciate what I already had.

I experienced varying degrees of success with this goal. Overall, when I look back over the last year, I can see that I’ve made progress. Like all growth, it’s slow and messy and often gruesomely ugly. But it’s there.

We were in Victoria last weekend for me to speak at a teachers’ conference, and on the ferry home I watched Jason lean forward to whisper something to Ava. She pushed her headphones back to listen, then she smiled. William stopped whatever he was doing and inched closer to hear the exchange. I didn’t hear what was said and it doesn’t matter, but in that second my priorities shifted and crystallized to reveal to me that I am enough for them and they are enough for me.

Those of us with less-than-stellar childhoods tend to work ourselves to the bone for the approval of others. We can feel like frauds, or like we don’t belong in certain company, and this “otherness” drives us to prove that we belong. In essence, we are constantly striving to earn our keep, but unconditional love doesn’t require a list of our accomplishments. It says, “You are enough, just because you exist. You matter regardless of how thick or thin your resume is. Come in, sit by the fire, get warm and cozy. You are safe here.”

My whole life I’ve been waiting to have those words sink into my soul and remain there. I said them for decades, but failed to believe them. I poured the idea of being enough into a bucket but the bucket was shot through with holes: insecurity, fear, shame, imposter syndrome, competition. It’s taken me a long time and a shitload of effort to plug those holes so the water will hold for a bit in the pail. This is the work of a lifetime, but inching closer feels damn good.

I’m going to turn 46 very soon. Being halfway through life (if I’m fortunate) offers a meaningful perspective. I don’t want to waste more time worrying about what I can’t control. It’s time to stop incessantly striving toward my goals without pausing to enjoy what I’ve achieved to this point. I want the courage to just be the person I’ve fought so hard to be. And know that this is more than enough.

In Minimalism, Nurture, Parenting, Personal Growth, Relationships, Writing

Moving Things Forward

Julianne HarveyNovember 15, 2017

Do you ever get overwhelmed at the enormity of tasks in front of you? Try this strategy: Moving Things Forward (or MTF for short if you enjoy acronyms, which I do).

Every day, try to think in terms of moving a project forward. Do one or two things that will help you inch closer to your goal. Over a month and then a year, these little steps add up to large progress.

In my case, when I go a day without writing, I usually go to bed feeling ticked off that I didn’t get any words down. Even when I do sit down to write for an hour or two, often I feel irritated (at best, morose at worst) that I didn’t accomplish more.

But when I sit down at the end of my day and look at all of the areas where I did move things forward, even in small ways, it can add up to much more than I realize. I’ve been using my journal for this purpose, in a type of success tally, and it’s really increased my ability to feel as if I’m accomplishing something on a daily basis.

How about you? What are all the ways you are Moving Things Forward in your life? Break it down into specific categories (family, career, friends, hobbies, leisure, vacation, etc.). Booked a babysitter? A haircut for next week? Sent a friend a text to say you are thinking about her? Browsed vacation possibilities for this summer? Researched something that will help you in your work? Watched an episode of Mindhunter or Stranger Things? (Awesome, you are moving toward finishing these excellent series).

Every one of these are examples of moving things forward. I’m working on thinking smaller with my day-to-day existence. The small things, done well, do eventually add up to become the big things. This also gives me significant breathing room to enjoy my life as its unfolding. Progress, each day, in specific areas will eventually get you where you most want to go.

I’d love to hear a story of how Moving Things Forward is working for you!

In Nurture, Personal Growth, Speaking, Writing

Lost

Julianne HarveyNovember 1, 2017

I’m feeling lost. After a surge of excitement and scheduling after a big writers’ conference, I’m now floundering with so many possible projects to pursue and no clear direction on what should be the top priority.

Do you ever feel that way? Rudderless, slightly adrift, believing that it will all make sense eventually but for now you simply exist in a fog of too much of everything.

The cure, in the past, has been to embrace my frail humanity. To acknowledge that I am not a machine. Perhaps the worst part of being lost is the shame associated with our humanity. I want to feel like a world-beater, not a sad, confused person making my way through the dark on my own.

Life is made up of seasons. Some are bright, clear, happy. Others are murky, painful, baffling. Extending grace for the hard times certainly helps. I don’t have trouble offering love and nurture to those around me who are suffering, but when it’s me, the rules seem to change.

Eventually, the light will shine again and I’ll have a better sense of where I’m heading. I suppose I simply have to wait for that, and do the best I can in the meantime. Gentleness is the key here. Inching forward toward your goals, little by little, is better than no movement at all. After so many years of struggling with patience, you’d think it would begin to come easier. And yet it remains elusive.

I stayed after my creative writing class to chat with my professor about the number of projects I’m working on. She encouraged me to narrow my goals to four things and write them on an index card. I had a terribly hard time getting the list to four. I initially cheated and wrote eight by using slashes, essentially creating two categories out of one line.

After looking at this card for a few days, I realized there was too much on it. I worked at it again, creating four clear categories in my work life. Suddenly it was a little bit clearer, but I still feel overwhelmed.

What helps you when you feel lost? Do you wait it out? I’d love to hear any of your strategies.