In Books, Culture

Summer Book Recommendations

Author Julianne HarveyPosted on
Summer Book Recommendations

Summer is here and I’ve been reading so many incredible books that I thought I’d recommend a few of them in case you are looking for something to read on your deck, at the beach or on vacation. I’ve also been watching some fabulous TV and going to the cinema a lot these last few weeks so maybe I’ll do posts on what to watch as well.

But for now, let’s focus on reading. Here are some terrific summer reads for you, in a variety of genres and styles:

I’ve been a fan of John Grisham forever, so I read every single thing he publishes. Even I can admit that his last few books have been misses more than hits, but Camino Island is a winner.

The plot focuses on rare books, jealous writers and summer living on a Florida island with a little bit of the FBI thrown in so it feels like a Grisham novel. This one is light and fun and tailor-made for me and my literary tastes.

 

Roxane Gay is an incredible writer. Bad Feminist was a favourite read for me and I’ve only just begun Hunger and I’m in love with it.

Her voice is raw, honest and compelling. She tackles the painful, embarrassing, hard topics that many wouldn’t go near. She is my hero – courageous, authentic, vulnerable and willing to take down the walls to show you who she really is.

 

Rich People Problems is about as much fun as you can have reading a book. This is the third book in Kevin Kwan’s fabulous trilogy about ultra-rich Asians.

It’s a peek into a culture I know nothing about and it’s ridiculously fun to dwell in this wild world for a few days.

Don’t start with this one – be sure to read Crazy Rich Asians and China Rich Girlfriend first, but then you’ll definitely enjoy this in your beach bag.

 

This book taught me so much. It draws a parallel between the events leading up to Nazi Germany and the state of our world today.

In 20 brief lessons, Timothy Snyder lays out the signs of tyranny and teaches us what to watch for and how best to react in order to fight the authoritarian mindset.

It’s an important read, particularly in these troubling times.

 

I had serious trouble putting this book down. Lisa Ko’s use of language is so elegant and compelling. The story she weaves is beautiful, stirring and remarkable.

As a debut, this book blew me away. It’s a story of a complicated mother and her son, spanning many years as the boy grows up and they work to find their way back to each other.

 

At the beginning of the summer I also read The Circle by Dave Eggers (it’s not new as it came out in 2013 but a movie was just made based on the book starring Emma Watson which I haven’t seen). It’s a dystopian book that does a beautiful job warning us of current and upcoming digital dangers. I really liked it.

And in case I haven’t already bored you with this in person or on social media, if you haven’t read Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty (published in 2014), please drop everything and start reading. You’ll be glad you did. I don’t really read murder mysteries but this one is exceptional. And the HBO show with Reese Witherspoon is supposed to be amazing, too.

There’s so much good stuff out there! Here are the next 3 titles I’m reading:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What are you reading this summer? Have you read any of these? Do tell!

In Culture, Identity, Nurture, Personal Growth, Relationships

Hold Loosely

Author Julianne HarveyPosted on
Hold Loosely

I know I’m on the wrong road when I begin to forecast outcomes for the things I really desire. I roll them around in my mind like cotton candy in a drum, thinking, “And then this will happen, and then this!” until I have it all planned out and now I just have to wait for it to unfold in reality.

But then it doesn’t go my way. And I’m disappointed, but I was never guaranteed any of those magical outcomes. I simply talked myself into them and then I have to deal with the extreme disappointment I feel.

Holding loosely is a much healthier alternative. I wish it came more naturally to me, but for those of us who were raised in less-than-stellar homes, fantasy thinking is one of our go-to strategies for survival.

I know that taking things as they come is a better operating mode. It requires me to live in each moment I’m in. The recovery movement has taught me that expectations are pre-meditated resentments and with my whole heart I know this to be true.

When I’m upset over a few situations I realize again that I’m failing when it comes to holding loosely. I become hurt and confused by the choices other people make and the grief in my chest reminds me that I’ve been clinging to my wishes with a death grip instead of playing it as it comes with open hands.

So I go back to the beginning. First things first. How important is it? Live and let live. Other people are not under my control. I can’t see everything that’s coming. This life is full of twists and turns. It’s healthier to react to what actually happens instead of forecasting a desired outcome that’s nothing more than fantasy.

No matter what our past habits have been, we can change. All we have to do is decide to do better from this point forward, and be gentle with ourselves when we fall back into our old patterns.

For me, I’m going to write HOLD LOOSELY on a piece of paper and put it up where I can see it every day. Hopefully this will help me to recall that both wonderful and terrible surprises happen constantly. It’s better not to be too attached to any one outcome or decision because it will likely shift and change on me.

If we stay present, open to a variety of possibilities instead of narrowly holding onto a set course of action, we give ourselves options. My words for 2017 are open, accepting, anchored. Holding loosely fits into all of these, particularly if the anchor is my true identity and not a specific circumstance.

I’d love to hear a story of how holding loosely has helped you. Any tips for me on how to practice this skill on a regular basis?

In Culture, Identity, Nurture, Parenting, Personal Growth

The Future is Female

Author Julianne HarveyPosted on

Since the U.S. election in November 2016, I’ve been saying some variation of “the future is female” to anyone who will listen (and to some who will not), so to hear Rob Bell use this phrase in his fantastic story A Goat for a Boat re-lit a fuse somewhere in my soul.

For huge global change to occur, the existing power structure must topple. This often involves life-and-death struggle, bloodshed, loss and pain. It’s a long, slow march with a high price tag for the leaders of the movement.

The patriarchy is a long-held institution and its destruction will be costly, ugly and difficult. But also necessary. If the future is female, then we are in for quite a ride before this prophecy unfolds.

It’s interesting that Wonder Woman has been such a smash hit, coming at a time when U.S. politics feel so dangerous and damaging to many of us. I think this is all part of the deconstruction of the patriarchy as we have long understood it. Of course those at the top of this power structure feel threatened. No one wants to lose their hold on power, but as history has shown us, eventually all systems implode when the pressures inside of them and outside of them become too strong.

We are living this out. It’s going to take a long time and be brutally awful before it’s through. But the process of change is stirring. Anyone paying attention can see that something is happening in our world.

As the plot of Wonder Woman so brilliantly demonstrated, compassion and truth are the keys to a future run by women. We are stronger when we lead as a team, with our arms linked, instead of from an outdated top-down hierarchical approach. Those days are behind us. Something new is unfolding. It’s time for love to take the lead.

My 14-year-old daughter gives me hope for the future. She has grown up believing that she is a leader. She promotes fairness, equality, gentleness. Nothing in her says that boys are better leaders. That cultural programming never had a chance with Ava and most of her friends. They simply don’t buy it, and why should they? It’s garbage and always has been.

The future is female. Thanks, Rob, for echoing this sentiment so beautifully in your clever children’s story. The time is now to recognize the obvious limitations of white men holding onto power at any cost. The way forward is to include everyone when the decisions are being made. We need many different voices at the table.

Women have a lot to say. We can contribute. We are leaders with a fresh perspective on local and global issues. It’s our time to shine, to collaborate, to offer up solutions with peace and kindness at their core instead of violence and competition. If the future is female, our outlook is bright and optimistic.

In Nurture, Parenting, Writing

Finishing Strong

Author Julianne HarveyPosted on

At the end of June, most moms (and some dads) are limping over the finish line, just trying to survive the chaos that comes with the end of each school year and the transition into summer.

When my kids are tired, I tell them, “Try to finish strong.” I use this phrase myself to get through one more wind-up, field trip, teacher gift, bag of junk precious memories that comes home from school.

Usually, the end of June also means rushing to hit a series of writing deadlines so I can go into the summer with no articles due or strenuous daily word counts to hit when I’d rather be taking my kids to the pool or the beach.

There were a few deadlines I did not make and this work will carry into the summer. But yesterday I did type “The End” (the most blessed two words ever for a writer) on the first draft of my current manuscript, one I’ve been working on for the last eighteen months. I can tell you that it felt amazing to be finished, especially because we are going on vacation next week and I can put this story away to let it breathe before edits and get busy dreaming about the next book.

Any large project follows a series of steps. There’s the initial excitement, then the long, dreary middle, followed by the boredom with it when you just want to be done, and finally the actual end when you are sick of the whole thing. Finishing strong is an important concept for everything in our lives. If we don’t quit, we eventually see the fruit of our long labour. Yesterday I felt that satisfying rush that comes with not giving up.

Now I’m turning my energy and enthusiasm toward the summer. Today I soak up the beautiful silence of my house as I will be sacrificing this particular pleasure beginning on Friday. But I will also be gaining lazier mornings, coffee on the deck in the sunshine, impromptu visits outside with friends, later bedtimes and a sense of relaxed leisure. A chance to make new and lasting memories by slowing down and noticing more.

Happy summer, friends. Finish strong (or as close to it as you can manage). Then jump into summer with a light heart and a peaceful smile. I hope I run into you while I’m outside with my book or splashing in the water. We don’t get these precious days back. Enjoy them while they are here.

In Identity, Nurture, Parenting, Personal Growth, Spiritual Life, Writing

Retreat

Author Julianne HarveyPosted on

Everyone can benefit from a retreat, but women in particular are in need of a getaway to refresh and refuel from their daily work of giving and sacrifice.

Last week I took myself to a small town in Washington state for a one-night writing retreat as I’m trying to finish my current manuscript before the kids are home for the summer. I booked it weeks ago, hoping for an ocean view room as nothing sparks creativity better than the sight and sound of the waves.

I waited until the kids were both home from school in the mid-afternoon so I could kiss them and hug them and say goodbye in person, then I jumped in my car and drove across the border with a light heart and a blanket sense of joy and peace.

The whole thing felt RIGHT. I used to plan writing retreats for groups in June at a Bed and Breakfast until the place we went to was sold and I didn’t muster up enough energy to find a new one. A couple of years went by and I didn’t go away on my own to write. Last week I realized just how much I’d missed it.

I popped into a local grocery store and took my time wandering the aisles, choosing food for one person for the next three meals. It was like playing house. Never has grocery shopping been so fun, with only my tastes and preferences to consider.

I checked in around 5 pm, unpacking and heading outside to my tiny deck to soak up my scrap of ocean view. I brought my writing binder outside and got down to work, luxuriating in the sense of being alone and doing my favourite activity on earth in a beautiful location.

We all need to make time and space in our schedules to retreat from our daily lives. This one-night stay felt profound to me, for it signified that I was worth the expense of this short trip. I used to talk myself out of these kinds of luxuries, figuring there was something more worthwhile to spend money on. But now I’m realizing that the freedom and joy I experienced while I was away has no price tag. It’s valuable beyond measure.

If you are a woman who gives to others and doesn’t refill her tank with activities she loves, consider this a gentle nudge to take yourself on a retreat. Even if it’s a solitary walk for an hour, build a sense of retreat into your life. Your spouse and your kids will thank you as you will be returning to them as your very best self, refreshed and ready for what comes next.

My one-night retreat was a week ago and I still feel utterly calm and balanced as a result of taking some time out just for me. I got a lot of work done, I consumed delicious food and drink, I slept in, I walked along the water’s edge, I soaked up the silence and I poured my heart out onto the page. And when I returned home I was changed for the better because I valued myself enough to go away on a retreat that was custom designed for me.

Where are you going on retreat and how will you fill your soul while you are away?