This month, I’m embarking on something I’ve never wanted to do but as it is required for my degree, I have no choice. I’m taking a science class.
I’ve decided to try Biological Anthropology, since I went to a Christian School and basically learned that the earth is around a hundred years old and God lovingly created each one of us by hand. Evolution and the origin of species are foreign concepts to me, but it feels like it’s time to pursue them.
Doing something new can be terrifying. I’m determined to push through this fear and go ahead in spite of the nervous twitches I experience in my stomach. I’m not looking forward to this class. I have a stellar GPA in my second year back to university and I don’t want to mess with it, but the point of this return to school is to learn, not to show off my shiny grades.
I spent a lot of time relaxing over the two-week Christmas break. I slept in, watched TV, indulged in delicious food and wine, read lots of books (if you haven’t read Liane Moriarty’s Nine Perfect Strangers, please go get it now and start. You can thank me later). The benefit of this downtime is a renewed energy for what’s ahead. A sense of hopefulness, even when I’m afraid, for getting on with it instead of bowing to my fear and staying in the same spot.
Treading water doesn’t get us where we want to go. Saying yes to what seems impossible is the growing edge. I’m learning to stand up and take my turn. I’d rather put something out there in the world than hang back and wish I had. Even when it doesn’t work out. Especially then, for the important lessons are usually gift-wrapped in the packaging of failure.
What are you trying for this January? What scares you? Lean in. Feel the butterflies and keep going anyway. Learn what there is to learn. I’m going to my first science class this afternoon with a brick of a textbook and a gaping hole where any evolutionary knowledge should be. But today I begin to fill that space, word by word and concept by concept, knowing that I’ll likely flounder and worry about looking like an idiot, but in the end I’ll have challenged myself and that is worth something.